Games

A Tale of 2 Witchers 2

In the lead-up to Witcher 3, Steam was selling Witcher 2 for $5, so welcome to my review of Witcher 2, a game that I like even though it kind of hated me.

Brothers: A Tale of Wait What the Hell?

I played Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons, and it was beautiful and whimsical and depressing – everything the reviews said it would be. But the ending, man. I don’t know how to feel about that.

Distractions from Mucus and Phlegm: The Dark Eye: Memoria

I spent the last week sick with a cold and, in between ordering a humidifier that wasn’t delivered until I could already sleep through the night and being afraid that I’d given myself a brain-eating amoeba by snorting tap water, I finally got around to playing The Dark Eye: Memoria.

Lego Harry Potter: The Smashening

Imagine that all of the characters from Harry Potter randomly and senselessly destroyed all the settings from Harry Potter by blasting the ever-loving fuck out of everything they saw. What you’re imagining is Lego Harry Potter for Wii.

The Stanley Parable: Choose Someone Else’s Adventure

Ripped straight from my recurring nightmares, The Stanley Parable is a videogame about a sentient videogame that hates you and tries to screw you over as you play. It’s equal parts funny and creepy, and it shows how you can take a very simple idea and build something layered and thought-provoking out of it.

So, Link. He Comes to Town. With a Robot That I Hate.

I played Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword and they were both pretty fun. Skyward Sword is a better game in terms of mechanics and design, but I love Twilight Princess just a little bit more, because of its characters, its dark, creepy graphics, its story, and the fact that it isn’t dominated by a robot that I want to fucking murder.

Awesome Games: Myst III: Exile

The Myst series is a thing that people either seem to love or hate, and I hated the first two games well enough, but the third one was surprisingly good and sense-making. And Brad Dourif is there to murder everyone because, why not?