Lest you think I did something productive with my time.
I hate horror games, I hate multiplayer games, I hate stealth games, and I hate first-person games, so this was a natural fit for me.
Everyone who wades through the first three Dragon Age games makes a list ranking all the companions. I’m an everyone, too!
Little did I know that something this awesome was buried in my folder of forgotten games.
Hot off my second play of Dragon Age: Inquisition, I thought Origins was my time to be an archer. I paid for that hubris with blood and tears.
In which I completely refuse to engage with the premise of the game I’ve been excited for all year.
If you want to shoot things with a machine gun and objectify women while contemplating the futility of looking for purpose or meaning in your life, I’ve found the game for you.
They are a place where literally anything can happen, which, in the right circumstance, is terrifying.
For all those times I invested 8+ hours in something I didn’t have a real opinion on.
The next chapter in my personal journey toward evil involves blackmailing random citizens and turning them over to a repressive regime.
Hellblade sits at the intersection of Amazing Piece of Art and Creepy Nightmare Factory, which is an intersection I was surprisingly okay with visiting.
Arkham Knight takes everything great about the gameplay in Arkham City and throws it in a blender with everything great about the storytelling and immersion in Arkham Origins, and then adds tanks. It’s an amazing finale to the series and it made me admire Rocksteady a little.
Now, watch me try to explain it.
In which I play the third game in a four-game series that is sometimes called a trilogy.
The flaw is in the time travel, as always.
Telltale’s weirdly amazing Batman game is further proof that Game of Thrones was just a random misfire.
In my defence, 75% of the paths through this game involve being evil.
Dreamfall Chapters: In Which My Decisions Could Potentially, Someday, In Some Manner, Be Of Consequence (Maybe)
I’ve been invested in this story for the last fifteen years, so of course I love Dreamfall Chapters. In a way where I am also disappointed by it.
If you enjoy feeling like your hands and heart are both about to break, Ori and the Blind Forest is the impossibly hard, Pixar-like platformer for you.
The Witcher game franchise finally drew to an actual for real close this spring, when CD Project RED released the second of two expansions to The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt and a massive update to the base game. It was one part exhausting, two parts amazing – and now it’s all over forever.