What’s the opposite of a fun, magical adventure where good ultimately triumphs over evil?
This is what happens when you won’t take risks in a risk-reward game.
Lest you think I did something productive with my time.
I hate horror games, I hate multiplayer games, I hate stealth games, and I hate first-person games, so this was a natural fit for me.
Everyone who wades through the first three Dragon Age games makes a list ranking all the companions. I’m an everyone, too!
Little did I know that something this awesome was buried in my folder of forgotten games.
Hot off my second play of Dragon Age: Inquisition, I thought Origins was my time to be an archer. I paid for that hubris with blood and tears.
In which I completely refuse to engage with the premise of the game I’ve been excited for all year.
If you want to shoot things with a machine gun and objectify women while contemplating the futility of looking for purpose or meaning in your life, I’ve found the game for you.
They are a place where literally anything can happen, which, in the right circumstance, is terrifying.
For all those times I invested 8+ hours in something I didn’t have a real opinion on.
The next chapter in my personal journey toward evil involves blackmailing random citizens and turning them over to a repressive regime.
Hellblade sits at the intersection of Amazing Piece of Art and Creepy Nightmare Factory, which is an intersection I was surprisingly okay with visiting.
Arkham Knight takes everything great about the gameplay in Arkham City and throws it in a blender with everything great about the storytelling and immersion in Arkham Origins, and then adds tanks. It’s an amazing finale to the series and it made me admire Rocksteady a little.
Now, watch me try to explain it.
In which I play the third game in a four-game series that is sometimes called a trilogy.
The flaw is in the time travel, as always.
Telltale’s weirdly amazing Batman game is further proof that Game of Thrones was just a random misfire.
In my defence, 75% of the paths through this game involve being evil.
Dreamfall Chapters: In Which My Decisions Could Potentially, Someday, In Some Manner, Be Of Consequence (Maybe)
I’ve been invested in this story for the last fifteen years, so of course I love Dreamfall Chapters. In a way where I am also disappointed by it.